They say you can never go Home...

Soldiers of Sparta were allowed to return home after lost battles, only if carried dead upon their shields. I'm convinced this is a more practical and time-saving way to go about it.

Monday, July 05, 2004

Spider Webs

My dad convinced me to go see Spider Man 2 with him this evening. This brings the number of movies I've seen in theatres, this summer alone, to a grand total of four. This is more than I've seen in one year, and I expect I'm going for several more visits.
I was otherwise dancing eye to eye with an evening spent with my Studying for the GRE book. Spidey, therefore, sounded like a marvelous plan. So, Dad and I piled into the Volvo and headed to Ybor Centro.

The movie was great; a certifiably excellent, sound sequel.

Me: Thanks, Dad. That was a lot of fun.

Dad: Well, I didn't pay.

Me: I know that, Dad. Thanks for coming out. It was fun.

Dad: Oh, yeah, well..um (clears throat). Oh, you mean, thanks for the company.

Me: I just mean, thanks in general.

Dad: (Happy sounding; rattling off expectations and projections for Installment 3).

I am struck, as ever, with the sense that my Dad's knee-jerk view of himself may be one of a bottom line. It never seems to occur to him that his kids generally accept the concept of spending time with him; time that does not involve pedantic and critical suggestions about Our Lives and the Way We live it, tied in concert with some cash outlay. That we may enjoy our time with him, and that we like it when he's simply content himself.

It must be difficult to keep us at bay and at the same time, feel duty-bound to ensure our individual progression through life by his own financial investment. (Which, let's be honest, is probably a far-sight more like venture-type speculation than a solid financial investment.) It's as if he's afraid that we'll take or deplete (what he views as) his only bargaining chip (money) and thus, steal away his power (have no need for him anymore). It's a terribly confusing dynamic, especially to those of us trying to make an honest go of rewriting the history of This Relationship. In fact, it is not unlike a web of sorts, confounding us who are affixed to it.