They say you can never go Home...

Soldiers of Sparta were allowed to return home after lost battles, only if carried dead upon their shields. I'm convinced this is a more practical and time-saving way to go about it.

Monday, July 19, 2004

The Vagaries of Business Finance, by Father Mussolini

I invited my father to see "I, Robot" with me on Friday. Upon arriving to the movie theatre:
 
Dad: Eleven dollars? That's ridiculous. I'm not paying that kind of money for a damn movie!
 
Me: Well, Dad, that's okay, because I'M paying.
 
Dad: No, goddamit, you're not paying for me. That's ridiculous. I'm waiting until the 7:50 pm show.
 
Me: Okay, sure, Dad. No problem. Whatever you want.
 
Clerk: ...that will be 22 dollars, sir.
 
Me: Okay, great. Here you go.
 
Dad: (incredulous) What are you doing? I said I was going to pay!
 
Me: Geez, Dad, I'm sorry...it all happened so fast. I didn't mean to!
 
Later on that weekend, at a moderately-priced Italian restaurant...
 
Attractive Waitress: (bringing check for 75 plus dollars) Thank you!
 
Me: (reaching for my wallet).
 
Dad: Oh, Tom, just throw that on your business card. Let the business pay for it.
 
Tom: (shocked) Dad, have you SEEN my Amex card this month? It's higher than Robert Downey, Jr on the day after his birthday! 
 
Dad: Relax, Tom! It's only money. Go ahead and charge it.