They say you can never go Home...

Soldiers of Sparta were allowed to return home after lost battles, only if carried dead upon their shields. I'm convinced this is a more practical and time-saving way to go about it.

Friday, September 10, 2004

Next stop: Personal Ads?

Going to the gym to meet new people has proved thus far to be a pretty spectacular bust. Allow me to elaborate:

The first fellow I was working out with regularly seemed like a really cool guy who took an interest in my business. I found that to be pretty movitating actually, and he always offered some good books for me to read to help me round myself out from a business perspective. Then he gave me a CD to listen to, which I thought was pretty magnanimous, so I listened to it. I thought it might be a hearty tool for increasing my knowledge for how to run a small business, and I could do it in lieu of otherwise using my time in the car to flick-off my fellow brothers and sisters on the road. Anyhow, I got to the very end of the thing, and the last sentence went something like this:

"if you are interested in learning more about Network 21, then contact the person who introduced you to this CD, for more books and tapes."

Major Groan. I've been BAITED FOR A DAMN AMWAY SCHEME. (How could I have been so naive?!)

Okay, fine. Moving on:

Today, I was racing into the facilities frantically, catching up w/ a good friend in California before donning the speedo and entering the pool. I had almost reached the locker room when a Staff Member cautioned me to use the other bathroom, as there had recently been "an incident" in the Mens' locker room. Naturally, I assumed that one of the poor kiddies pooped somewhere other than a toilet, and the place was just momentarily fouled. So I changed in the alternate bathroom, got into the pool, and went through the grueling swim routine.

Afterwards, I asked another teammate whether they thought the incident in the locker room had been cleaned up, and they looked at me a bit funny, then briefed me on the circumstances: Apparently, my swim partner had been showering off in the vicinity of another male, and while engaged in the rather lonely business of showering, decided to get more personal by grabbing adjacent male in shower on rear end in overtly sexual manner. This overture was not appreciated by the other male, who promptly notified security, who promptly notified the police, who promptly sent 3 of their finest officers over to investigate. My swim partner confessed, and was promptly banned from entering the facility again, under threat of tresspassing.

My reaction to this was both shock, a little pity, and quite honestly a bit of relief (thank God he didn't grab a kid!). On the other hand, how sad that he attempted such a thing. I had seen him looking at me in the locker room, but not necessarily while I was changing or anything, and had simply concluded that he must be a little mentally impaired and/or subject to compulsive behaviour. (This notion was further concretized when he once explained the huge cocktail of psychoactive drugs he was taking. It would be the equivalent of a chemical lobotomy for most people.)

Anyhow, the long and the short of it, is that I have the worst radar for scams and gayness going. More immediately, I'm back to doing chest press without a spotter. Which really sucks.

Tokyojen: We're going to need to broaden out that Questionnaire a wee bit.