They say you can never go Home...

Soldiers of Sparta were allowed to return home after lost battles, only if carried dead upon their shields. I'm convinced this is a more practical and time-saving way to go about it.

Sunday, October 17, 2004


I suppose I was dumped last week, and I feel like utter crap about it still.

I say dumped with a sort of uncertainty, because it was not altogether dissimilar to giving one’s Notice by abandoning one’s job. That is to say specifically, my phone calls began to go unreturned. I have concluded, after about a week of several calls a day (a point of huge embarrassment for me) that you can’t really make anyone return calls. And therefore, the act of not returning them becomes, in essence, a message. That message is, in fact, the universal one for Bugger Off.

I feel a bit like my heart has been tread on, and finding I am dwelling a lot of how things went down, and how I’ve contributed. The sheer ridiculousness of these feelings DO register, in an academic, super-conscious sort of way. What I mean is, this wasn’t even a relationship, technically. It had been two months, a handful of dates, the exact number of which I could count on one hand, a large number of hours logged on a cell phone, and a single exploratory kiss. There really is no sense in feeling this way, as nothing is owed and (as I am told by several people) there is no social obligation otherwise requiring one to give notice of quitting said relationship.

But why the hell is this the case?

Why isn't it considered normal just to pick up the phone when it rings and say something to the effect of It's Not Going To Work? Make something up, for God Sake.

I wonder whether it's due to our culture of drive-thru and disposable everything, that people feel perfectly entitled to throw people away without even a bullshit email or a conversation or a phone call that attempts to address the breaking up, as feeble or as misguided or as judicious as it may be. Pretending you Died or simply ignoring someone to end the relationship is so tremendously low-class in my book.