They say you can never go Home...

Soldiers of Sparta were allowed to return home after lost battles, only if carried dead upon their shields. I'm convinced this is a more practical and time-saving way to go about it.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

My brother was relating a story tonight, about a customer that he waited upon at the Incredibly Mediocre Italian Restaurant where he works.

The customer was an older woman, shaved bald, with a bandana around her head. He brought her the lunch she ordered, and after eating it for maybe five minutes, asked for a box to take it home with her.

My brother, attempting to be polite, asked if everything was to her liking.

She replied, “Oh, yes. I have Brain Cancer, and it’s difficult for me to eat very much.”

My brother, naturally horrified, expressed his condolences like a madman and made sure to take good care of her for the remainder of the meal.

“What the hell is someone supposed to say to that?” my brother asked us all.
Dad was thoughtful for a moment, and said, “You should tell her: ‘Well, if you keep eating here, you’re going to get rectal cancer, too.’”